Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
