how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
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When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
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I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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