There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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