Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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