Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
