when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
