I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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