you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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