I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
