Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
