i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
