It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
