doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
