The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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