your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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