I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
