You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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