My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
We smell like vodka and hangover
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