me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize