IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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