Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
