i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
