maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
