that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Screwed.edu
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
