It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
