I'm really into asian looking animals
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
