Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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