do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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