That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
