Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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