As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's shark week go big or go home
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
