don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
