I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
