Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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