I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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