HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
