I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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