Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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