what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
