While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She bit a glass in half.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
