so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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