Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
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Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
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All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize