You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
