i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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