That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
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We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
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Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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