its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
