well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
