Having a random hookup so left but love u
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I touched a dick in church today
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize