My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
