Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
