What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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