Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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