So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
