final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
