Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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