you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
