i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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