A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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