His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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