Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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