you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
