Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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