I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
