Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my mouth tastes like poor choices
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Randomize
