how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
