but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I love you. Go after that dick
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
