They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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