guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
