we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
