i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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