You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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