Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
